I dropped that check into the mailbox over at CHECs central post office, and I could feel my dread grow as I heard the envelope slide down to meet its compatriots. Then, for an hour following, I tried to figure out how I could buy a loft like in Flashdance, only less rustic, and a weekend place in the mountains which manages to be both surrounded by woods and a working organic farm, and start a business, and write a book and possibly a dissertation*, and run my first marathon**, and get my 5' 10" frame into a smaller size without looking ill, and get married to a feminist man who doesn't want a cookie or try to outfeminist women or mansplain feminism to women, and adopt 3 beautiful refugee children in a way that is completely untainted by colonialist leanings. By August. Maybe I'll save the life of an injured unicorn as well.
Also, this payment has depleted my disposable income budget such that I will have to wait a bit before buying that replica of the bayeux tapestry I have had my eye upon. One of those people had better have joined a cult in the past few years!
*Without being enrolled in any program, or, for that matter, having read anything more challenging than Sarah Sylvia Cynthia Stout in months.
**Just for fitness level context, my big goal for the summer is to be able to run a 5k by October 1st. Bonus points if I can do it without begging for death at any point during or immediately after.
