Well, this is hard. Might as well jump right in, right?
This coming May, I will become -- probably temporarily -- one of those people who suffers from the most dreadful of academic illnesses: Terminal MA. My grades so far are good; this is not the university handing me my hat and suggesting I open a coffee shop or take secretarial courses.
Rather, I know for certain that I do not wish to continue at Microburg. I love my work. Good lord, I got all tingly just a few weeks ago when Ansaxnet had a discussion of the meaning of -sceaft. I am seriously hooked on OE studies. And I genuinely like most of my professors and colleagues. But somehow the mix just isn't working. I shouldn't be this angry while doing work that I love among people I (mostly)like.
However, I also don't know where I want to go from here. I admit that I didn't properly investigate Microburg when I decided to come here. It has a good reputation, some very good medievalists, and is close enough for me to reasonably consider visiting my family often-ish. But, man-o-man, do I ever hate it here.
So, rather than sending out a bunch of applications to places I can't possibly a) afford to visit, and b)properly investigate before the applications are due, I decided to take a year and think about where I want to be next. It might also help to be a member of my family again for a minute, and work off some of this ridiculous debt I've acquired.
So, there you have it. I will be an industry outsider for a bit. Unless, of course, I get all CC adjuncty in the interim period, which may yet happen.
8 comments:
Heo, this sounds like a very sensible decision. You should definitely take time to think and investigate and do some serious shopping around to find a place you really want to be during the PhD years. I took a looong pause after my master's and ended up a very happy PhD student in the end because of it.
(Feel free to email me if at any point you feel like discussing specifics of programs.)
I agree with everything Tiruncula says (including emailing). It's hard to get out of grad school without *some* simmering resentment, but anger is to be dodged whenever possible.
You'll be a lot happier in the end, and almost certainly more successful. And less in debt!
I think it's a good idea to leave a program if you aren't happy there, too.
Probably the smartest person in my phud program left with an MA; she just decided the potential benefits weren't worth the BS the program put her through. And she seems quite happy about it some 10 years later.
It sounds like you are doing the right thing for you. That's something for which you certainly do not need to apologize, to us or anyone else.
Plus, it's only terminal if you stop there.
Yup, what everyone else said, including the e-mailing about specific programs. And also, just so you know, sometimes PhD programs pay for you to visit them once you've been admitted. Of course, everyone will be on "company behavior," but at least you'll get to see the place.
Good for you, Heo!
Just so you know, I did respond to this post several days ago, but blogger ate the comment.
Anyway.
Thanks for the support, guys! And thanks for the offers of email guidance. Fair warning: I will most likely take you up on it.
Oh my god, there's a great deal of useful material in this post!
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