Sunday, July 01, 2007

I Can Has Dignity?

If it seems like every other post includes an apology for my absence plus an explanation thereof, well, that's because that's been the pattern around here.

I'm sorry for being such a lackadaisical blogger.

But, man, do I have stories for you.

I have been on many road trips the past few weeks, in search of gainful employment, and oh! the places I've gone!

With brains in my head,
and feet in my shoes,
and gas in my tank,
I went off to peruse.

I began close to home,
not far did I roam,
to another burg that is micro,
as was the salary, alas!
proposed by the ass,
drat! I haven't a rhyme pair for micro.

Then overnight was the trip,
past bridges and tunnels and ships,
that brought me to a safe haven.
But after the second session,
we all learned our lessons,
and I knew it was time to be leavin'.

(Three cheers for sloppy rhyme! Huzzah! Huzzah! Huzzah!)

I stopped home for refreshments,
sleep, food, and a change of vestments,
and drove to a town by another great water.
The water was swell,
I gave Canada a yell,
But was not hired for lack of a daughter.

(I'm not kidding. They prefer their women married with children up there. I was told this expressly. They are clearly not Heo-ready. )

Another stop home for a drink and a nap,
then off I went again, white-knuckling the map.
I took the road out of microburg, and then a quick left,
and saw men in straw hats drive horses of considerable heft.
Amish, where they ought not to have been!
And the house of a minor president!
And a nudist colony!
All in the same small town.
Right on the way to my meeting.
I must now confess,
Although Johannes and Georg were dressed,
imaginings of them as nudists weren't fleeting.

Off to a beauteous town I continued,
where I lost my breath often,
but kept control of my sinew.
Welawey! Say I now,
for I was so desperately cowed,
that I could not give a coherent interview.

And finally, this past week,
Off south again I hent,
past the place where the sight of Amish one expects.
But they weren't there,
and the meeting was bare,
just a secretary and a recording device,
and one Heo, vexed.

Northeast a bit, too.
To a ridiculous zoo,
run by my natural enemy.
A short, squat man,
holding his chest unnaturally convex,
and a major dux bellorum complex,
that I watched kick in,
while supressing a grin,
as I rose when he came in the office.

And the cost of this traveling,
on mind, body and purse,
has been quite enormous,
though less so in verse.

Unemployed I remain,
whether I like it or not.
More travel and meetings
in which I try hard not to be trying.
More questions,
both silly and not,
and, I fear,
a few more Saturdays crying.

But on Sundays, I'm rested,
not so easily perplexed-ed,
and I remember medievalist training.
Patience, indeed,
Perseverance, too,
and eventually stuff won't be so draining!


jb said...

The pavement you've pounded
for unfruitful jobs,
And in the end they all sounded
terrifically flawed.
But keep heart, and remember:
It's long till September,
and convex-chested men
are quite odd.

Congratulations on getting so many interviews--I'm sure that something will work out! Stay strong!

Bardiac said...


I'm keeping my fingers crossed for a really good job for you!

ps. I tagged you for the thinking blog meme. I hope that's okay. If not, feel free to ignore it.

Best, B

Dr. Virago said...

They prefer their women married with children up there. I was told this expressly.

I'm pretty darn sure that's illegal.

HeoCwaeth said...

Thanks JB. In weak moments I think I must be a crushing disappointment in person. But, there's no time to develop a whole new personality now! Onward and upward, I says!

Bardiac, I'm honored.

Dr. V., I am very very jealous of you for your current travels.

Just thought you should know. Now, as far as the hiring stuff is concerned, I was at first astonished that the guy would openly break the law like that. But then I realized that in that place, that guy would likely consider this law intrusive into his right to be an unprofessional jackass at work, and therefore just a suggestion. I know guys from there, and they suck. Uniformly. What's more, when you fight them, they don't learn how they might avoid such conflicts in the future, they just get even more blatantly misogynist because once challenged by 'a feminazi.'

Of course, I alternate between hatred and pity for such 'men,' and would, under different circumstances, enjoy pinning him to memos he should have gotten in the early 70s. If I had the money, time, and reputation to fight the good fight in this case, I would. But I have none of those things right now, and I wouldn't ever choose to work with a guy like that anyway. Fast food careers are always open, there are paper routes yet in some cities. Either of those would be preferable.