Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Happy New Year!

Hi folks! Hope everybody had wonderful holidays. I had lots of fun with the wee ones, and ate so many Christmas cookies that I will probably be spending the next two weeks in elastic waistbands. Better living through the invention of rubberband pants!

I'm now stopping at home for a moment of stillness and privacy between visits to family.

I do have one complaint about the holiday season. Before I left I made sure that the local felons who attempted to break into my apartment the day I returned from Christmas visiting last year would have an extra day to do so, and a nice clean and comfortable place to ransack. (I also removed all my easily carried valuables, including my computer tower.) These are not the smartest of felons, clearly, because they had a loud argument on my front porch last year about 'whether we should go through with it' when somebody 'thought that car wasn't here yesterday.' That somebody was right, of course, and I was waiting at the top of the stairs with my umbrella and hammer in hand, ready to do battle. Yeah, yeah, I know. Unsafe. I've always been more brave than intelligent, and there doesn't seem to be a cure.

Anyway, this year I decided that robbing me would absolutely serve them right. I'm a grad student. Hello. I threw my fancy earrings in my handbag, and my computer tower in the trunk of my car, and that was the end of my hockable belongings. Still, attempted felonies do not excuse poor hostess skills, so I left a sparklingly clean place, and a number of snacks and beverages on the kitchen counter. And, after all my elaborate efforts to secure my fortune and my reputation, they didn't even bother to show up this year. I call that rude.

3 comments:

Unknown said...

Hee, hee - that's just a hilarious tale, Heo. I once wrestled with a guy in penguin pajama pants who reached in my office window and tried to drag my computer toward him with the cords. We each had a hold of one side of it and I started smacking him on the head screaming "you sonofabitch let it go!" He did and all I could ever identify him by to the cops was a bald head and penguin pjs. The cop laughed at first and then told me never to do that again.

Why did I? My dissertation was on that computer and the stupid flash drive was plugged into the back of it! Talk about no cure for unintelligence!

I wish the guy had just had an argument with himself outside the window, that would have given me more time to prepare! :) But he did take my plants off the window-sill and set them delicately into the driveway.

Glad you had a good, safe holiday!

Anonymous said...

Happy New Year Heo! I think they didn't want to run into your umbrella/hammer combo. Thought they could have at least sent a post card.

And Medieval Woman, happy 2007 to you as well. The penguin pajamas had me doubled over. Tee hee!

Anonymous said...

Sort of reverse Santa thing going on? Shouldn't they leave you a cookie and milk?

Happy New Year!