Hmm, let's try another tact.
I went to post-structuralism sleep-away camp and all I got was this lousy regalia.
Sweet. I love regalia. And what's better than medieval robes?
Tomorrow, I shall march about in medieval robes, being careful to flaunt my extra-long, flappy arms. I will do my best to appear sage for the cameras.
Just know that my interior monologue as I sedately flap my masterful way up to the podium to get my fake diploma will include both "look at me, Ma" and "Woo-hoooo! Best Joey Ramone Day celebration ever!" I may also include a heart-felt "wlonk!" but that'll have to depend on the moment.