Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Burgerification Continues Apace

I have evidence.

1) My kitten has health insurance. I didn't have health insurance until I was twenty. I didn't have good health insurance until last year.

2) I take Latin and advanced German classes for giggles. This knowledge will not help me financially. Even if I manage to pass the near-fluency German test, um, I think the Germans have all the Anglo-Saxonists they need. They certainly have all the English teachers they need.

3) As of this afternoon, I have been to a therapist. A therapist who advised me to: practice mindful breathing, keep a 'feelings journal,' and read Eckhart Tolle. I just paid a guy $150 to listen to me explain my childhood and give me advice I could have gotten at home watching a single Oprah show. And apparently, I have to be Buddhist.

4) I actually said, without irony, just the other day: "I wish I had time to get a facial."


Chris said...

Three things:

1.) Get a new therapist. You can use your cats name, if his/her insurance covers mental health.
2.) Don't, whatever you do, read Eckhart Tolle. I beg of you.
3.) Can you teach me German? I won't pay you, but you'll have the satisfaction of knowing that your German education isn't for naught.

Heo said...

OMG! Chris lives! I thought you had decided nevah to speak at me again. Which was weird, because I'm such a delight.

- I'm taking a moment to consider the possibility that therapy is for gentler souls than mine.
- I wouldn't read Eckhart Tolle on a bet.
- I'll gladly teach you German.