Monday, February 26, 2007

Introducing the Electronic Absence

Pre-rant apologia: I hate that I'm becoming this person, too. Chances are that you will read this and cluck over my power mongering. That's cool. Last week I would have done the same to you if you wrote this post, or one like it. I would have told you that you're about a minute away from having been an undergrad yourself. I would have asked you if you make fun of twelve-year-olds for not understanding calculus. I would have secretly mumbled about some people needing to remember that we are all students of our disciplines and of life, and some are just further in the process.


That said, they totally started it.

Rant:

There was a bit of an explosion today. The gist of which is that beginning tomorrow, ANY student of mine who EVER sits in my class with an ipod or similar device hanging out of their ears will be automatically marked "EA" for "Electronic Absence." There will be no discussion. I will not remind adults or late adolescents that listening to ipods during class time is a waste of my time and theirs. That is, or should be, understood. I will not tell Mr. or Ms. Chillin' that they have been marked absent. It's not my job to notify people that they aren't in my class. They should know that themselves.

Ditto cellphones, blackberries, et. al.

And yes, those absences do count towards the absence limit in the attendance policy, and no, they aren't negotiable.

And I swear to the FSM, if just one more of these people tells me that they work harder than every student in the class, and it's not faaaaaaiiiiiiir that they should get a B when some guy who is lazy and stupid and probably a drug addict, but also their very best friend got a B+, I may start twitching.

Post-rant: I really do love teaching. I really do love most of my students. But, man, some students get to college thinking that education is Burger King have-it-your-way-right-away land. And they have got to be convinced otherwise quickly. Or else their future will be completely, er, yswived. And that's not what they came to college for.

7 comments:

Ancrene Wiseass said...

I might swipe "Electronic Absence" from you: that's excellent!

And, yeah, the kid who is upset because Lazy Best Friend Who Only Reads SparkNotes gets better grades is always hard to deal with.

Bardiac said...

I love the EA idea... is it bad that I like it especially because of Electronic Arts, producer of computer games which have, on occasion, taken up a good bit of my time (though never in class, at least)?

Anniina said...

I love your use of "future... yswived". Tehee!

Jenya said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
medieval woman said...

Awesome response! I hate that shite. I can't believe they listen to Ipods *during* class!

zelda said...

love it!

wwwmama said...

EA: great! I'm usually a pushover in class, preferring to avoid conflict of any kind. The exception is when I see students checking cells or blackberries. Something snaps. "Turn that OFF!!!" I say, and everyone wakes up immediately because they've never seen me cranky before. I can't stand it!