Thinking Blogger Award

Bardiac nominated me for a Thinking Blogger Award. Thanks, Bardiac!


And, as usual, this post comes right on schedule, two weeks after it was promised. Argh!

I'm especially honored to have this nod from Bardiac, because in her blog I find the work of one of those people who manages to be both inspirational and a somehow steadying force simultaneously. And then she adds intelligent, informed, insightful and generous to the mix and you can't even hate her for having her stuff together. I hate that. But I totally wanna be Bardiac when I grow up.

So, onto my choices. I have not been able to properly track who has these awards already, so if I have doubled a name, I apologize.

Oh, hell, I only get five?

Mixing Memory - Chris writes a very good cognitive science blog, in which he often explains the complicated processes we go through in our everyday thinking. And he even has footnotes quite often. So, I've started with blogger who writes about his thinking in response to the thinking of others about the act of thinking itself, which, when presented in blogular form, I now say will cause the reader to think on their own in response. How many "metas" is that?

Ancrene Wiseass - AW is a medievalist graduate student who writes beautifully about many topics, medieval and modern alike. I especially enjoy her posts on negotiating the demands of actual life and of graduate study simultaneously. It was in reading AW's blog that I realized that a grad student really could be a graceful contributor to the world of electronic words.

Karl "the Grouchy Medievalist" Steel - Even before he joined Jeffrey Jerome Cohen at In the Middle, Karl was tearing up the intertubes with insightful, provocative, and informative comments on other folks' blogs. So much so that when he joined JJC, I did a little computer-chair jig at the thought of more access to Karl-ian thoughts. He has not disappointed.

Squadratomagico - Somehow manages to live not just an ordinary real personal life outside of the academy, but her blog suggests that she's living an AMAZING personal life outside the academy. I love the stories, and her academic insights, but mostly I'm lurking around over there trying to figure out how she does it.

Lady Bracknell - The Perorations of Lady Bracknell, as you might imagine, are as august and aristocratic as is the lady herself. In her electronic editorials -- for who would dare call them anything as vulgar as 'blog posts'? -- Lady Bracknell does her best to rid the world of the unfortunate beliefs and practices of disablism, misogyny,* and all-around block-headedness.

*Aristocrats get the oxford comma. I read that in the rule books, I'm sure. Tiaras, white gloves, and oxford commas.

The rules for this meme are at the original post, or just below.

1. If, and only if, you get tagged, write a post with links to 5 blogs that make you think,
2. Link to this post so that people can easily find the exact origin of the meme,
3. Optional: Proudly display the 'Thinking Blogger Award' with a link to the post that you wrote (here is an alternative silver version if gold doesn't fit your blog).

I Can Has Dignity?

If it seems like every other post includes an apology for my absence plus an explanation thereof, well, that's because that's been the pattern around here.

I'm sorry for being such a lackadaisical blogger.

But, man, do I have stories for you.

I have been on many road trips the past few weeks, in search of gainful employment, and oh! the places I've gone!

With brains in my head,
and feet in my shoes,
and gas in my tank,
I went off to peruse.

I began close to home,
not far did I roam,
to another burg that is micro,
as was the salary, alas!
proposed by the ass,
drat! I haven't a rhyme pair for micro.

Then overnight was the trip,
past bridges and tunnels and ships,
that brought me to a safe haven.
But after the second session,
we all learned our lessons,
and I knew it was time to be leavin'.

(Three cheers for sloppy rhyme! Huzzah! Huzzah! Huzzah!)

I stopped home for refreshments,
sleep, food, and a change of vestments,
and drove to a town by another great water.
The water was swell,
I gave Canada a yell,
But was not hired for lack of a daughter.

(I'm not kidding. They prefer their women married with children up there. I was told this expressly. They are clearly not Heo-ready. )

Another stop home for a drink and a nap,
then off I went again, white-knuckling the map.
I took the road out of microburg, and then a quick left,
and saw men in straw hats drive horses of considerable heft.
Amish, where they ought not to have been!
And the house of a minor president!
And a nudist colony!
All in the same small town.
Right on the way to my meeting.
I must now confess,
Although Johannes and Georg were dressed,
imaginings of them as nudists weren't fleeting.

Off to a beauteous town I continued,
where I lost my breath often,
but kept control of my sinew.
Welawey! Say I now,
for I was so desperately cowed,
that I could not give a coherent interview.

And finally, this past week,
Off south again I hent,
past the place where the sight of Amish one expects.
But they weren't there,
and the meeting was bare,
just a secretary and a recording device,
and one Heo, vexed.

Northeast a bit, too.
To a ridiculous zoo,
run by my natural enemy.
A short, squat man,
holding his chest unnaturally convex,
and a major dux bellorum complex,
that I watched kick in,
while supressing a grin,
as I rose when he came in the office.

And the cost of this traveling,
on mind, body and purse,
has been quite enormous,
though less so in verse.

Unemployed I remain,
whether I like it or not.
More travel and meetings
in which I try hard not to be trying.
More questions,
both silly and not,
and, I fear,
a few more Saturdays crying.

But on Sundays, I'm rested,
not so easily perplexed-ed,
and I remember medievalist training.
Patience, indeed,
Perseverance, too,
and eventually stuff won't be so draining!

Heo Posts Everyday Etiquette Tips: Lesson 1~ Grace Under Pressure

When a neighbor comes over and brings you a lovely bouquet of clippings from her garden:

1. Thank her and make a big fuss over how beautiful the flowers are and how lovely they smell, and how you just adore fresh flowers.


2. Mean it.


3. Go get a vase, quickly, so that the flowers are in water as soon as possible because you don't want the stems to dry out.


4. When choosing the vase, be sure to pick the fat, unwieldy one.


5. When placing the vase on the counter, try to set it down at just the right angle, and with just the right level of force.


6. Watch it shatter in your hand.


7. Feel the largest piece slice your thumb. Assume the wound is not that severe since it didn't hurt that much, really.
8. Curse like a longshoreman.


9. Following first aid protocol, hold pressure on wound for 15 minutes so it can stop bleeding.


10. Repeat, because you must have done it wrong.


11. Reassure your neighbor, who is blanching visibly.


12. Make a joke about how accident prone you are.


13. With your good hand, pour your neighbor a cup of fresh coffee, which you carry from the kitchen to the living room with milk and sugar bowls on the toaster-oven tray because you have no tea tray.


14. Make a joke about your hostessing skills.


15. Chat as if you aren't concerned about your still-bleeding hand.


16. Excuse yourself 'for just a moment' because you're not sure you turned off the coffee pot.


17. Neglect to mention that the coffee pot turns itself on and off, and might someday knit you a cardigan if you can figure out the code.


18. Make small talk nonchalantly from the kitchen while you surreptitiously apply butterfly sutures (one-handed! ^4!) to the gash in the digit that -- along with philosophy and art -- separates you from the majority of other wildlife.


19. Realize that your grasp of philosophy is unimpressive, you couldn't draw a straight line with a ruler, and there are a few apes who have twice as many opposable thumbs as you used to have.


20. Consider adding whiskey to your own coffee. Refrain. You may be a dolt who is outranked on the evolutionary scale by some poop-throwers, but you're the only person you know in this city whom you can trust to drive you to the ER if you feel faint from the loss of blood.


21. Ask yourself how the hell you ever got into graduate school with your sad-ass logical skills.


22. Decide to pour whiskey into cup after all.


23. Realize that the stench of whiskey is unmaskable with even the strongest roast of coffee.


24. Pour whiskey out of cup. Rinse.


25. Deposit still-stinky cup in sink, start over with clean coffee cup.


26. Hear neighbor heading for the kitchen to check on you. You can't let her find you in here bleeding all over the butcher block in a kitchen that smells like whiskey when you didn't even get to drink the stinking whiskey. Emergency!!


27. Pop your smiling face out of kitchen.


28. Distract her with gossip about the neighbor whose house is visible from the window furthest from your kitchen.


29. Sigh in relief as she moves to that window to contemplate the news and their house.


30. Wrap 2x2 gauze around your thumb.


31. Wrap clear packing tape around your 2x2 gauze very tightly so you can drink your damned virgin coffee without having to continue holding pressure on your thumb.
32. Wrap 4x4 neatly around this, and with appropriate tape.


33. Discuss local arts offerings for the summer.


34. Pretend you're excited to see a community theater version of a play you hated when you saw professionals do it.
35. Feel throbbing pain, and strong desire to reprise your earlier role as longshoreman #1.


36. Encourage neighbor to go home by subtle shift to the annoyingly didactic.


37. Act disappointed that she needed to leave so quickly, but do that while walking to the door.


38. Walk her out, and thank her again for the lovely flowers.


39. Vodka, neat.


40. Proceed to local walk-in medical office.

Whew!

[Post edited to eliminate idiot spelling errors and extra-awkward sentences. Medium-awkward sentences and less idiotic spelling errors have been left intact. Not really, or not purposefully. I'm just covering my butt.]

For just a moment, I may actually be my normal-ish self. Though I haven't quite figured out what normal looks like without some sort of looming emergency, academic or familial. Heomodor had all her problem areas addressed surgically this week, with some hours of high drama in surgery during which the surgical staff ran around quite a bit and shouted. Just like on the TV. Well, they didn't have sex in the broom closet in between laps around the O.R., but still. I was actually convinced, for the past month or two, that Heomodor was not long for this world. Good job, team of three surgeons! And a nice touch it was, your meeting with the whole fambly as a unit to explain stuff. Even the spindly one who adopted the 'benevolent but dismissive father-figure" status for himself while taking command (and, who did the least of all three) deserves a good pat on the back for his contribution. He also deserves a kick in the pants, but I'm tired this week. Which brings me to this question...why would someone who actually performs an iconic role [dramatic surgeon] in our culture double down by adopting another one [father knows best] in a conversation related to his work in his first iconic status? I mean, seriously! Next time wear a cowboy hat, too, why don't you?

More Reasons to Wear the Regalia

When you march around to Pomp and Circumstance and Procession of the Nobles for the amusement of your friends and family, they are obliged to give you stuff. It's the rule. Now, in return for my performance, my family and friends have provided me with the following:

some cash (wlonk!)

two cakes (cake!)

a crustacean-based meal (Good for body and soul, both. I'm convinced that the matter with Kansas is the total lack of crustacean-based meals. )

a camera of the digital variety (the first camera I've ever owned that was not bought at a pharmacy)

Introducing Heo!

Master of Ceremeonies

the Universe

the English Language (well, on paper I am)

Hmm, let's try another tact.

I went to post-structuralism sleep-away camp and all I got was this lousy regalia.

Sweet. I love regalia. And what's better than medieval robes?

Tomorrow, I shall march about in medieval robes, being careful to flaunt my extra-long, flappy arms. I will do my best to appear sage for the cameras.

Just know that my interior monologue as I sedately flap my masterful way up to the podium to get my fake diploma will include both "look at me, Ma" and "Woo-hoooo! Best Joey Ramone Day celebration ever!" I may also include a heart-felt "wlonk!" but that'll have to depend on the moment.

Why Do I Blog?

Quite some time ago -- on my mother's Birthday, actually -- Bardiac tagged me to share five reasons why I blog. Because I am such a phenomenal blogging slacker, for reasons which I will share in the second half of this post, I did not complete the task. And I continued to not complete the task for so long that my fellow tagee, Ancrene Wiseass, completed her assignment, and tagged Anniina, who in turn completed her assignment and tagged me. And then I started to feel really guilty about being so slow to get on this meme. So, I let that procrastinator's guilt percolate for a while, and now I am ready to be a responsible blogger and write my post.

*Ahem*

Five Reasons I Blog:

1) Long Story with two parts, in fine TMI tradition: I would classify my experience in my family, although loving, as akin to being in a high-demand cult. Seriously. Part of the pull of graduate school was, for me, the chance to be away. As I planned my move to Microburg from civilization, I became absolutely giddy with the prospect of living far enough away from my family that I stopped being defined, and defining myself, as Daughter of X, Sister of Y. And I know that sounds immature, because it is immature. But there you have it. About two months before I was set to depart, a family member fell ill -- not dangerously ill, but too sick to work, and too poor to go it alone. I am the only unmarried, non-replicating sibling. Therefore, my charge into freedom changed radically. Like, the freedom part of it got taken away. I was determined to continue on to graduate school, but I would have to take my family member with me, and take responsibility for said family member. Moving made me the sole emotional and social support for said person, who is not the type to create a new social network, and be the largest financial support as well. Not a lot of time for that, plus grad school, plus finding a place where who I am is entirely based upon me. One improvises. So, ta-da. A place where I can be bitchy and evil and pompous and self-centered and school-centered and politics-centered and me, and nobody gets hurt.

2) As I wandered about the internet, hunting for information about becoming a medievalist, I found blogs that centered on just that. And they were written by women, most of them. And those women were feminists, too. Huzzah! So, I started to think that I could also be a feminist medievalist, and that perhaps I could bring something to the conversation while we all made our way to the medieval. I'm cartain I don't do that as well as I should, but you can't build a skill unless you work on that skill, right?

3) I had to create a blogger account to comment at Bitch PhD and Ancrene Wiseass anyway.

4) I seriously like my pseudonym, and whenever I'm moderately clever in a very geeky way I like to share that.

5) My friends have heard my anecdotes before, and they aren't as impressed by my rapier wit as I like to imagine all the non-commenting visitors to this blog are. You see, in my mind, the non-commenting don't fail to comment because I haven't said anything generative, or they're creepy pervs who are using the internet to search for sick ways to get sexual pleasure out of medieval torture devices. Oh, no. They fail to comment because they are stunned by my perspicacity. So, to maintain my delusions.


Five Reasons I haven't Blogged Lately:
1) Overflow classes, just in case I never make it back to graduate school.:$0
Volunteering commitments that help me get over myself: $0
Writing decent final papers for all those classes while keeping volunteering commitments so that choice to make it back to graduate school is ultimately mine: Priceless.

2) Relative is ill and requires much shuttling to doctors.

3) I need a job! So far two interviews, no offers. Le sigh.

4) You know how Pandarus always shows up where nobody invited him in Troilus and Criseyde? He does that in papers about Troilus and Criseyde as well.

5) Actually attending when speakers come on campus in case I never make it back to graduate school and I just go around being all ignorant of the stuff they were talking about forever because I didn't learn it now.